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Wisdom Teeth

by Wisdom Teeth

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1.
Yaz Flute 04:45
i’ll play jesse; you play john. crucify me as we reenact long island dramas at 490 mph. all i really wanna hear is sorry. my only companion is tobacco smoke lingering in stagnant southeastern summer air. this is so cliche it’s sickening, because of the stories we reflect; the lives we model. someone there to listen; to notice, to affirm. against the headboard in an iron-wrought chair i spoke. sorry to let the cat out of the bag. the whispers in my ear break my fall. 1 am, shotgun a beer as a light rain falls a moth dances through shafts of light just feet in front of me. i apologize. i said i wanted an apology i wish i could accept yours. we can’t undo what happened. this was no misunderstanding. i understand perfectly well. i can’t take all this hiding away
2.
Of Corpse! 02:03
picked at the cracked leather on the seat, waiting for my delayed flight up to portland. it’s been a rough couple of months, i could’ve sworn i died, but i won’t give up this easily. friend, please break bread with me. we’ve got a plan to get through every weakened weekend. when the flashing lights illuminate our faces and everyone laughs it off we can finally breathe easy. 2 time zones a way there’s a party at your house. i hope everyone’s feeling comfortable in the place their in. so keep me in mind for next time. i’ll be there. you know i need times like these. i don’t wanna live in paradise because it’s not real life. and i don’t wanna live a lie. but please, i still need someone to stand by me
3.
boy, you don’t work hard and you don’t get paid. you just lie on your back going through the motions. up all night with nothing to do. sleep all day, everyone’s looking at you. but to everyone who’s ever had a sleepless night that wasn’t followed with morning light, i’ve never seen a sunrise. but can we please just drink whiskey round a table in the kitchen and sing our favorite songs in the basement with anyone at all? trying to fill the holes in our hearts and guts with anything to take our minds off of our breaking backs. find a place to rest your head
4.
hey joey! can you ask her for me? ask her to go to the dance with me? see, i’ve got these shaking hands and i tend to trip over my tongue. hey mister! can you do me a favor? buy me a 12 pack of blue ribbon. i’ve been living in a ball of twine and this is the only way i can talk. now they’re putting injections in my gums and i can’t help but bite my tongue. it makes it more difficult to speak. oh god i need another drink. get me another drink. i’m living like a child. scared of the dentist chair. i don’t think i’ll talk to you it’s nothing i can bear. i’m still on the school ground. pushed down in the dirt. wish i had the strength to talk to you but i can’t be sure. the words can’t pass my teeth. i’m clinging to my seat. white knuckles. people scare the hell out of me.
5.
ing in the pit of my stomach rises up. it’s kinda warm kinda unsettling. i push it down; mash the acceleration. all the king’s horses and all the kings men couldn’t put me back together again. screaming for help. i don’t wanna hang for this if i told you what war wrong would you grant me one last wish? please take note. (if you kill me oh you kill me please oh please won’t you make it quick.) a list of things that could go wrong flashes in front of my face like a stock ticker. i desperately hope tonight it’ll happen. i’ll experience something, anything. have a story to tell, be in one. please think “don’t go at the end.” i stop. see them congregating. i don’t see smiles, i don’t see scowls; i see the floor, my cuffed jeans, and frayed shoelaces.
6.
do you realize how shallow your words still seem? those days caked in mud turned to months confined in walls near salt lakes. every word i wrote but can’t seem to speak comes back to haunt me in conversations i can’t bear to have. when the news finally hit boston i was shaving away months of my life. no news is good news. so save your breath i’m good. christ help me remember the oldest faces. when i hear your voice, when i read the words you wrote, i won’t be able to bring myself to speak. i’ll drink again, again, again, again. kids in the backyard, sleep away summers, shit fucking weekends, you’re fading you’re fading. sink to the bottom, lay in the coral, i should of told you, i knew it, i knew it.
7.
i’ve been reading kafka, joyce and camus. trying to find something within myself. it’s been forever since i last drank your blood. i’ve unfolded my hands and i won’t put them back. i need to claim sanctuary, but the doors are all locked. the bread is rotting and whispers carry out the windows. thought i had family, but i guess ties can break. children bow your heads and fucking pray. on jordan’s storm banks i stand and cast a wistful eye, to canaan’s fair and happy land where my possessions lie (traditional). woah. we won’t stand witness. we won’t fall again. i can feel the earth turning as i speak. you can shut that door, i won’t walk back in. i heard you make a promise you just couldn’t keep
8.
i know i can’t do this justice, and that’s the problem. but here goes nothing. our last conversation i remember, you said you couldn’t stand being alone. i wish i wasn’t. i’ll walk away from the masses. back to the casket. smoking alone. living. laughing. masturbating. i make myself sick and that’s the worst part. syntax betrays my deepest flaws. i never thought it would be me to say it this way. “are you kidding me? i miss you terribly.”(grown ups) “i’ll back you up, my friend.”(latterman) i’ll always find a way to make it about me. you always laughed to the rhythm i would. i wish i told you everything. ranger out.

credits

released March 27, 2012

Dan Walker played drums here. Jake Lovett plays drums now.

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Wisdom Teeth Birmingham, Alabama

daniel. zane. jake.
facebook.com/wisdomteethbham

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